28 Nov When Is It The Right Time To Ask ‘That’ Question?
In a time where just about anything goes in dating and trying to find the right person to want to commit to, we all have, to some degree had the ‘list’ of what we want, what we envision and what are important to us. When you get to a certain age as a woman and you are still going through those dating challenges, you feel like you don’t want to waste your time, when is it the right time to ask ‘that question’? The question being, do you want marriage and children? What are your thoughts on that?. It dawned on me one day when conversing with a 40-something corporate single woman. Who had already been there done that and was happy to just have a partner and see him when she felt like it. ( Kudos to her I say). The conversation got to where we were at in our lives, the types of men that we had experienced and when do you bring up the topic of kids and commitment without them running for the hills. Her answer got me thinking that maybe she had a point. “Well the sooner the better. Id say within the third to fourth date. You want to know whether you are wasting your time or not. Its better for you if you know earlier so at least you know rather than loose six months or a year and your back to square one”. It hit me like a brick. That was true. It maybe to early in the piece to ask but being a woman of a certain age its too late in your life not to. So is it a catch 22? Are we damned if we do and damned if we don’t? How do you approach the topic of commitment and family on your third date? Steve Harvey the author of ‘Act Like A Lady, Think like A Man’ made it a little easier when he suggested you ask something like “What are your short term goals or any long term goals?” So that way you can ascertain whether he is a man with a plan or someone who doesn’t know. You can get around it in a way that doesn’t hit him all at once. It is a personal issue that is different of us all but however you choose to run with it remember it is your life and you deserve to have what you want.