20 Jan HOW LONG CAN YOU STAY UNDER THE COVER?
A friend of mine, let’s call her Queen Latifa, was telling me about a woman she met at a conference. She was an intelligent and articulate lady in her early 40’s. They got chatting about what they do, activities they are interested in and somehow or other the conversation got to men. She asked Queen Latifa if she was in a committed relationship. Latifa replied yes. It had been a few years now. Then she asked her. ‘Well yes and no’ She replied. Latifa stood baffled.
“What does that mean? she asked. You either are or you aren’t”. She woman proceeded to explain.
“Well, actually you can be part time. So semi committed. The man I am with is actually in an almost ended marriage. We have been together for some time, on and off. No one close to us knows about it. We have kept it well hidden. I know he loves me and he is ending his marriage.” Latifa was stunned, firstly with how open she was and secondly how sad she felt for her.
‘’So you have been completely ok with being the other woman. Knowing that he is still at home with the wife? I mean he is technically with his wife. If you look at the big picture, and sorry for my bluntness, but his is having his cake and eating it too.’’ She responded in haste.
“Yes but I know he loves me and we will be eventually together. Things take time. But for me, I get my cake and eat it too.” The lady explained.
“How so?” Replied Latifa.
“Well, I live my life do what I want, my sport, work, dinners with girlfriends and shop etc. And we are together when we want to be. I have my house and my girl time when I want it and he has his life.” She explained it like it was normal. But she had an expression on her face that said otherwise. Like she felt like she had to justify what she was doing. Latifa didn’t know how to respond. She didn’t know the woman so she had no right to judge. But do women think that in those situations there is ever going to be a happily ever after or are they living a fantasy? Do they ever think of consequences? The children, the wives, what being the other woman can do emotionally. How long can something be kept under wraps until some story or outing doesn’t go right.
“As long as you’re happy. But remember men know how to play the right strings. If you are happy being this way then fine but remember until the glory day he officially leaves his wife then you are never number one. A mistress is never really put first. Are you happy being number two?” Latifa left her with that question. Latifa walked away thinking…. Just how long can a mistress have her cake?